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I want to be a Racist

1/4/2014

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And that’s with a capital R. So, where do I start? Who am I not allowed to like if I’m to be a real through and through, cut me in half and my blood’s white, racist?

            Well, obviously I can’t like and must be against Niggers; Ok that’s a good start. But, what is a Nigger? I’ll need some clarification, just in case I inadvertently abuse some nice white person who’s been on holiday in Spain. I suppose that brings out another point, I live in Catalonia, a region of Spain. Are Spanish black or white? I know that the south, for a long time, was part of Morocco, so perhaps I shouldn’t really have anything to do with the Spanish as god knows what blood runs through their veins. Let’s not forget they are Catholics. I’m not sure, but as a racist, I can only bond and be friends with White Anglo-Saxon Protestants (correct me if I’m wrong). I think I’ve run into another problem here, though, I myself am a White Protestant, my wife and our children are Catholics and from south of the Pyrenees to boot.

            Shit, I think I’m in trouble. Wait a minute, Anglo-Saxon, you say? I’m Welsh that’s Celtic, isn’t it? Jesus, I’ll not only have to disown myself, but my family as well and I’m white and British.

            Sorry, I digressed, what is a Nigger? According to Wikipedia ‘In the United Kingdom and the Anglophone world, nigger denoted the dark-skinned (non-white) African and Asian (i.e., from India or nearby) peoples colonised into the British Empire, and "dark-skinned foreigners" — in general’

                Dark skinned foreigners?  It’s a bit general; a Frenchman with a tan for sure could be target for my hatred.

                Now I’m getting somewhere, if they’re dark skinned foreigners (including tanned French and Italians), non- protestants, e.g. Muslims, Catholics, Buddhist etc, these should also targets for my hate campaign. Non Anglo-Saxons (that’s me out) e.g. Welsh, Irish, Scottish etc.  Then of course, there’s the gay-lesbian issue, I’m not sure, but isn’t  a racist usually homophobic too?

                Sod this for a game of soldiers. I think I’m just going to treat people as I find them, it’s easier.

                 I’m just off to play with my Catholic children, kiss my Spanish wife and walk down town and pass a cheery ‘good day’ with some Moroccans. Unless, of course, anyone can give me an easy way to learn who I must hate, to make my life happy and fulfilled. Until then, I’ll stick as I am.

    Empathy with the human race, this is how we'll win

Live and let live.

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