Anyway the squawking and blubbing meant feed time, cereal, milk, one nappy and half an hour later I return to my cold leather throne, just to press save and return to child two, three and four, who’d obviously felt left out and wanted my unreserved attention. Unflustered and unfazed, stage two of nappies and breakfast commenced and by 8.30 I was finished and out through the door to my first and only class of the day. A pleasant and relaxing change of environment, not to mention smell, for the better.
11.00; and my return to the fold is welcomed by a well worn and suspiciously hanging nappy and, as luck would have it, I’d returned home at the perfect moment to change my two years olds expulsions. What do we feed that boy?
Now time to sit and check my e-mails, Hold on I need the toilet, too late, daughter number two is calling and son number three is up to something. Now the phrases, ‘Take the cushion off your sisters face’ and ‘don’t stand on your sister’ might sound alarming, but, honestly, he was only playing.
Time for lunch, poo, I need to go shopping, thirty minutes and over thirty degree’s see me sweating like a, well hot thing, in an oven. I really do need the toilet.
Alarmed at the food on the floor, I sometimes wonder how much actually arrives in their stomachs, judging by the amount that arrives at the other end, some must go in. It does seem that more comes out, how is that possible? My wife struggle to separate the runny nose from the fruit being introduced and I desperately try to pick up the Macaroons off the floor before son number two tries to eat them, he’s much better at eating food off the floor, than his plate, but I try not to encourage this, health and safety being what it is. Toilet!
3:00 Two boys sleeping, two girls not, a top up bottle, change of nappy and a half hour walk see’s all four sleeping. A dash up to the toilet and all anguish and desperation floods away and relaxation sweeps over me, followed quickly by squawking from the garage and the process begins.
What about writing? Yes, well, perhaps tomorrow, at least I got to go to the toilet. ;)